The big talk...

You don't realize what you're made of until you have to make some difficult choices. Tim is of the mindset if we were meant to have kids naturally, it would have happened already. Part of me thinks he's right, and the other part thinks well maybe this month. But unfortunately wishful thinking hasn't worked. :-( So it's either keep believing in the delusion until there's no time left for any other options, or bite the bullet and move forward.

I'm still a bit apprehensive about IVF and the anesthesia, but after weighing the pros and cons, the pro's won out. I think I'd always ask "What if" unless we at least tried. With IVF we'll know more about the quality of my eggs and if they can even form embryos. Tim thinks the fact I had Rheumatic Fever as a child might be part of the problem. I still think it's stress, but that's just me. I'm hoping the IVF will shed a light on things so we can get closure, preferably in a bundle of blue (and/or pink).

How old?!?!

Tim pointed out today I might want to think about getting back on track with fertility treatments if I really want to have a baby since I'm almost 40. I guess I hadn't thought about it that way. But almost 1/2 the year has slipped by and I'll be 37 in a few months. The break from traditional medicine I took over the past few months has helped my outlook. The acupuncture did help my chi, and overall I feel healthier which is a plus. The down side is I've gained some weight from sitting at a desk all day, which under better circumstances I'd like to get rid of. But who knows how long that would take!

So this afternoon I revisited my reservations regarding IVF (and the anesthesia) and went over what I would have to do to get back on track. Tim actually mentioned a gestational surrogate as an option. I think it would be very strange to do this though, and I might me more of a basket case knowing someone is carrying our baby. I think I would want to try IVF first. I'm not making any final decisions until I talk to my Dr, but it looks like we'll be moving forward in one way or another soon.

Hypothetically Speaking...

Imagine your husband's hypothetical friend / co-worker purchases a new grill and offers you their old one, all you have to do is pick it up.

So you both go over to their house and pick up the grill that weekend, carefully removing the propane tank and tools and leaving them behind. You bring the grill home and your husband cleans it up.

The following week your husband emails his friend thanking him for the grill and cover and asking where the rotisserie piece is so you can try the grill out. At this point the former co-worker tells your hypothetical husband to call him.

Your hypothetical husband is informed the co-worker still has two grills in his back yard!

Upon further examination, it is discovered the grill was picked up from a house the co-worker lived in years ago.

Against everyone's advice to the contrary, (due to the sue happy area you live in) the hypothetical grill is stealthily re-delivered, much cleaner than before, the following weekend in the middle of the night.

Let's say that it's really not that funny...

WANTED

Anywhere else in the country it seems as if it's easy to have a network of friends. Most of the time you know your neighbors, you go to similar events, and it's actually fun to go out. In fact when scanning blogs I find I have a lot more things in common with people from the Midwest, the East Coast or even Europe than I do here.

Here it seems going out becomes stressful due to all the traffic, parking nightmares, and just being exhausted after work. Trying to find someone out here who shares your tastes and isn't superficial makes it even more difficult.

I have a few friends who could do everything in the list below, the problem is, they don't live here! So I need to find someone local...

Wanted -- a few good friends:

• Someone to go horseback riding with-I'll provide the horses;
• Someone who will drag me out shopping, to get our nails done, or to go to the movies--we can take the convertible;
• Someone to discuss books with--I'll bring the wine;
• Someone who likes to garden or take on new projects (such as knitting looms!)--something other than work;
• Someone to go to the gym or take a hike with--so there's an excuse to go shopping for cute clothes;
• Someone who doesn't get all weird on me and starts talking about everything baby 24-7;
• Someone who can help keep my mind off of my messed up family and who likes me for just being me. :-)

I wonder if there is anyone like that out here... Otherwise I may have to start thinking about moving back East.

It must be summer...

It's funny how all of a sudden the weather gets warm and bam, I don't hear from any of my long distance friends. At least I'm hoping that's what it is. It seems like everyone is busy. I know I am definitely swamped at work. I wish I was swamped for some other reason, but unfortunately it's all work. It's hard to believe it's almost summer, except I've been driving the convertible every day which has allowed me to experience the weather to and from work and get a bit of sun in the process.

The only reason I'm actually driving it more than once or twice a week is that the truck died while hauling home a BBQ Grill last weekend. (Poor thing.) But at over 200,000 miles, it was bound to have an issue sooner or later. We think it's the fuel pump, and since it's located in the gas tank Tim's not too excited about pulling off the bed of the truck to fix it. (Which is supposedly less work than dropping the gas tank!)

On another note I completed the twin's hats and booties. (They seem a bit "Warm" for the season, but maybe they'll be in air conditioned rooms a lot and need them.) Now need to start on another project. Tim thinks it might not be the smartest thing to make a bunch of baby clothes since it could start to depress me, so since I now have my brother and my sister covered, I'll probably start working on a poncho or something for my Grandma.

Too much time on my hands...

I found this site (myheritage.com) where you upload a picture and they tell you what celebrities you look like, and I couldn't resist. I uploaded the picture we took when we were wine tasting at Alexander Valley Vineyards. Here are my results:

Alicia Silverstone (74%) Can't complain on that one, has our age about right too.
Felicity Huffman (72%) Guess I should watch Desperate Housewives...
Leslie Caron (71%) Now I know what I'll look like when I'm older, I do have some French ancestors.
Courteney Cox (70%) At least I'm among Friends, and if I recall she had issues with fertility too.
Holly Hunter (68%) Wish I could play "The Piano" 68% as well as she does.
Barbara Streisand (67%) As long as it's not the nose that I resemble, I wouldn't mind having her singing talent.
Linda Hamilton (66%) Do I look like the mother of the future?
Sophie Marceau (64%) More French, and I thought I looked more German.
Shannon Elizabeth (64%) Hmmm... American Pie.
Robert Downey Jr. (64%) Suppose this would be ok if I were a GUY!
Elle Macpherson (63%) Now only if I had a super-model body as well!
Naomi Watts (63%) I actually have ancestors from Kent England... hmm maybe this site is onto something.
Veronica Ferres (61%) Hooray a German girl! So does this mean I only look 61% German?
Chava Alberstein (61%) Or maybe I'm 61% Israeli?
Rachel Hunter (60%) Wow, she's only about a month and 1/2 older than I am. Sweet.

Although it can be quite good for the ego, I've never been told I looked like any of these celebrities, although some have said I looked like Faith Hill.

Tim's Results:

Alec Baldwin (66%) Tim's quite happy about this one.
Freddie Prinze Jr. (64%) Ironically we just watched "She's All That" this weekend--Mr. Prinze is very cute in this movie.
Matt LeBlanc (62%) Too funny, so Monica and Joey hooked up according to this site.
Michael Vartan (60%) Now I'm drooling~
Oliver Stone (59%) An older Tim, perhaps.
Anders Fogh Rasmussen (58%) Hmmm... Prime Minister of Denmark... Sweet.
Frank Lampard (55%) Well Tim may be English, but I haven't seen him play Soccer.
David Copperfield (55%) I don't think Tim's Jewish/Russian, but who knows.
Bashar al-Assad (54%) Hmm Syrian?
Jacques Rogge (54%) Belgian that's possible.
Payne Stewart (54%) Maybe Tim should be a golfer.
Alan Rickman (53%) Professor Severus Snape... the hat says Slytherin.
Bill Paxton (53%) Fish Heads, Fish Heads, Rolly Polly Fish Heads....
Keith Moon (53%) Who? ;-)

I think Tim looks more like Joe Flanigan of Stargate Atlantis, but perhaps that's just me.

I guess if we ever had kids they could look like a child of Alec Baldwin and Alicia Silverstone! :-) Not so bad...

Knitting Firsts...

I thought I would post my first try at knitting. I made the white hat and booties first. I just started working on the blue hats and booties. (Thus the reason there's only one bootie and no ribbon to tie it yet.) I guess my sister is getting pretty big so I figured I'd better start working on the twin's gift. The photo doesn't really do them justice.

My Gramie made the bear, she's so cute. :-) I can't wait to see what she comes up with using her looms. I need to buy a crochet hook, so I can make more chain laces for booties. Plus it will make it easier to attach things when I expand my repertoire.

Well off to water the garden, I just had to show off my hats!

Knifty Knitter

I bought Gramie the round knitting looms last night and decided to pick out a set and some yarn for me as well. (Which won't help my weight, but will give me something "productive" to do with my evenings other than sit in front of my computer.)

Having never been good at knitting, I was shocked when my first attempt at a hat turned out great! It is SOO CUTE! The bootie is cute, but a bit thick, so I will have to try another pattern. The amazing thing is that it didn't take long at all! I'd love to make a poncho sometime, but will stick to hats and booties at the moment, since I can finish them in an evening.

All work...

We work too much. I had to cancel my vacation request today, because somehow between the two of us, we couldn't manage to get tickets using our frequent flier miles in time. It's probably just as well, but I was a but bummed today all the same. Especially since our trip included seeing my favorite Aunt and Uncle :-(

On the positive side, it does mean I don't have to stress about wearing shorts or a bathing suit any time soon. I really need to loose some weight and this will give me more time to do so. A down side of overwork, working through lunch, sitting @ your desk, and being too tired to do anything when you get home. (Except surf or play video games.)

Well, I'm off to buy a knitting loom for my Grandma so she has something to do while in the Nursing Home, I may pick up one for me too. It seems like everyone I'm related to is having kids, so I guess I'll have to learn how to knit so I can be one of those DINK (Dual Income No Kids) "Aunties" who can't have kids and instead makes everyone else baby booties.

To the moon with you!

We went to an Art and Wine festival yesterday and had a great time. We wandered through a collection of classic cars and talked to some of the owners. I found out that the midnight blue w/white leather interior '66 GTO my parents had is sought after because of the unique color combination! No wonder they still talk about that car. They had the tiger the dealer threw in with the car for a long time.

We also went to the NASA booth, just to see what they had set up. We were looking at a rock from the moon that was on display, when a father and daughter came up and she asked what it was. He said loud enough for all of the other children in the area to hear: "Oh, a rock that's allegedly from the moon." The poor little girl who was about 4 didn't understand what her father was trying to get at, "It's a rock?" The other parents moved their children out of hearing range of this idiot! (Just like wild animals distance themselves from members of the herd that are sick or diseased.)

This is the same type of guy who makes up shit when viewing animals at the zoo. "Oh it's allegedly a zebra...it could be a horse with dyed stripes. See how they are all the same? Look at it eating straw." It drives me nuts. Now don't get me wrong, I don't agree with all things NASA related, but why go into the booth at all if you believe their accomplishments are just an elaborate HOAX? Just so you can spout your "wealth of knowledge" to all of the kids in the room? How disrespectful to the astronauts and men & women at NASA?!?

I think we should load up guys like this (ones feel the need to "enlighten" young children with their ignorance) and create a special moon mission just for them and drop them off to do some "fact finding". If they think they're on a stage somewhere, I suggest they take off their helmet. I haven't decided if we should just leave the ones who don't take their helmets off on the moon or let them come back if they sincerely apologize for f-ing with kids' minds.

A Guide Horse?!?

Too cool! http://www.guidehorse.com