Monday, January 30, 2006

Martini Madness...

The herbal treatments are going well, I feel more energetic and actually craved a cup the other morning! My Chinese Dr. alters the prescription a bit almost every session, to coordinate with how my body is reacting to the treatments. I'm feeling a bit better this week than last, that's for sure. My cycle was extremely strange this month, probably from the December fertility treatments, so I am taking another month or two off. Then we'll see how I feel about the whole thing. I do think between the acupuncture forcing me to relax (You can't tense up with a bunch of needles poking you.), the herbs working on my chi, and going to the gym and working out 3-4 times a week something good has to come of things. Spending $ on me seems to help too. :-) So I’ve been doing a lot of shopping lately.

Case in point, my Martini spree. I received a gift basket with Godiva Chocolate Liqueur for Christmas and finally bought a set of martini glasses this weekend to make my first (of hopefully many) Chocolate Martini’s!!! In case you want to try one @ home...

In a shaker w/ice combine:

2 oz Godiva Chocolate Liqueur

1 ½ oz Stoli Vanil Vodka

Line the rim of a chilled martini glass with vanilla syrup, and then dip rim in shredded Dark Godiva Chocolate. (Of course this required me to purchase a microplane grater-zester @ Crate and Barrel. It works great!)

Shake martini and pour into the glass, garnish with a skewered Godiva “Extra Dark Chocolate Truffle” (your olive*) and serve.

*I had to use a Sees Dark Chocolate heart for my "olive", but it was still GREAT!!! And it required another shopping trip.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Shock, Stress, and Shopping

So far Acupuncture is going well. I definitely feel something when I get stuck with the needle. It's like an electric shock that travels down my "pathways". Supposedly I'm very sensitive to the treatments, which is a "good thing". I figure if it helps my Kidneys and Qi it will be a good thing. In fact, I am actually adjusting to the taste of the herbal tonic, and am now taking Royal Jelly as well. (If it's good enough for the queen bee...)

After a couple of weeks of nightly tonics I'm much better at making herbs, although they still perfume our home with a sweet/woodsy smell when I simmer them. Our neighbor came over the other day to return the battery charger while I was brewing up my nightly tonic, and not only did he not come into the house, he left rather abruptly. Tim said it was because of the smell.

Unfortunately other than my positive herb experience, most of last weekend was pretty much a weekend from hell. I think the stress of not having a baby is getting to us. (or at least me) I'm starting to think that a child just might not be in the stars. I am becoming a complete wreck. (Which is probably why I was told to try Royal Jelly on Monday.) It's not pretty when your focus towards a baby starts sucking away any joy, friends, or hobbies you once had. Not to mention makes it hard for romance. Instead all of your energy, time, and $ that used to be for travel, entertaining, or fun is spent on Trying to Conceive, fertility treatments, drugs, etc... I even gave up horseback riding for a year thinking that might help. (It obviously didn't, and probably added to the stress level since riding is usually my therapy.) I'm really getting tired of the emotional rollercoaster that this entire process has created, and starting to wonder if it's really worth it.

By Sunday I needed to get out of the house as the walls seemed to be suffocating me! So I ended up going shopping at Stanford to use a gift certificate I got before our wedding. (About 7 years ago!) I finally picked out a few things from the store (Williams-Sonoma) only to discover the paper certificate is SO-O-O old I have to send it in and get a gift card before it will work!!! So I ended up not getting my sunflower cake mold, stainless steel beaters, and measuring utensils since the only reason I was shopping there was to use the certificate! I'll be back in a month or so when I get the gift card!

At least the weekend wasn’t an entire waste; I did manage to buy a few things at Crate and Barrel and stopped by Nordstrom’s to pick up a couple of bottles of my FAVORITE salad dressings! (They're GREAT!) I usually hate shopping alone, but I haven't found a compatible shopping friend that doesn't live 2,000 miles away and Tim can only take so much. (The weekend before we shopped for about 5 hours for a pair of women's tennis shoes that fit me!) Poor Tim...

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Technology rocks! (Mostly)

Thanks to technology, Tim has set up a web cam so I can watch him at work. It's a nice one with face tracking features, so for awhile it made me sea sick every time he moved. It’s pretty cool though, and I can actually see what he’s up to. They have a lot more fun at their job than our office. (Although in this pict he's working.)

So lately, when I’m not updating the coal he gave me, I’ve been watching Tim work. (In case you’re wondering…Tim’s version of coal this Christmas was a video iPod.) Thanks to technology I’ve learned I like alternative music! ("Who knew?" said the Heavy Metal Headbanger of the 80's.)

My first iPod purchases (After a Battlestar Galactica Video) were:

Alternative (Squeaked into first place by one song! But since I have a few more on my wish list...White Stripes, 1208, Amber Pacific, Jimmy Eat World, etc.)

  1. Helena (My Chemical Romance)
  2. I Predict a Riot (Kaiser Chiefs)
  3. Finding out True Love is Blind (Louis XIV)
  4. Tear You Apart (She Wants Revenge)
  5. Best of You (Foo Fighters)

Rock (At least I still like rock too!)

  1. Better Days (Goo Goo Dolls)
  2. Prepare for the Fight (The Lovemakers)
  3. Scars (Papa Roach)
  4. Click Click Boom (Saliva)

Country (I usually don’t listen to a lot of country, but this song just makes me smile.)

  1. As Good as I Once Was (Toby Keith)

Needless to say, I love my coal! :-)

Now if I could figure out how to make changes to a comment when I notice a grammatical error! Duh! Well at least technology rocks most of the time! :-)

Saturday, January 14, 2006

East meets West

Since I haven't had any luck with IUI so far and my doctors can't find anything wrong, I thought I would expand my options and find an acupuncturist that specializes in Fertility. [Especially after reading the book "The Infertility Cure", which talks about using Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) in conjunction with Western medicine.] I found a place that is on my way home from work, and started going last week.

According to my Chinese doctor, I have a Ki Yan- (Kidney yang) deficiency and poor Qi (chee). This is also why I’m often so cold. Anyway, her treatment mimicked the fertility book I have, which was encouraging. I really don't know what my prognosis is, since she writes my treatment and lists the herbs I am to take in Chinese. (It's fun to watch her write though.)

The Dr. seems really nice, and the treatments aren't painful. Well the needles aren't that painful anyway... this is my first experience with a Chinese herbal treatment and it has been quite interesting. Behind the front desk is a wooden cabinet with drawers labeled neatly in Chinese. My doctor writes down my notes and the “prescription”, and then pulls out the applicable drawers a bit so she knows which ones to use. (I required quite a few drawers!) Then she gets out a balance scale, which consisted of an ivory "arm" with a flat copper "pan" that is suspended by three red strings and a “range indicator” on the end, and a brass counterbalance that dangles on the other side of the arm. It has a couple of red strings at the top that she holds to balance it.

It was very intriguing. She selects the herb needed—from slivers of roots, to berries, bark and leaves. Each time a certain amount is placed onto the pan and then she moves the weight down the arm until the load is balanced at the correct weight, adding or subtracting the ingredients until it is within range. After each measurement, the “prescribed” amount of herbs were poured into a brown paper bag, and I left with 4 bags worth of herbs (1 for each day between visits) and instructions to soak the herbs in a pot containing 5 cups of cold water and then simmer it down until I have one concentrated cup of herbal “tonic”.

She threw in something that looked like a dried date and some slivers of something soaked in honey to improve the taste… I wish she threw some more in, as the first night I made it, not only did the entire house smell of leaves and bark, the pot absorbed some of the smell. In fact even our coffee tasted of herbs the next day. (I felt like a little girl cooking mud pie ingredients of twigs and bark.) The tonic was VERY strong and drinking it coated my tongue with forest! But I did feel a bit more energetic the next day.

So we went out and purchased a special pot with strainer to boil my herbs, and hopefully this will help keep our good cooking utensils from absorbing any more tonic taste. (Although she said that often Chinese families cook the herbs with meat, to make it more palatable.) The funny thing is that the scent seemed to spike the coffee pot water next to it, as the next day our coffee tasted like tonic! So now I clear the stove when I boil my herbs which seems to help. (In fact the next time I tried it it wasn't as bad, so perhaps I just got a bitter brew the first time.)

I haven't given up on Western medicine yet and will do another round of IUI in a month or so, but I figure I might as well explore all options, and if getting my Qi in order helps me than I will be very happy!

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

BFN--Big Fat Negative

Well, this time things were less stressful, I managed the shots well. (Minus a few emotional episodes.) I took time off of work to relax and not stress. I managed the 2WW (2 Week Wait) and followed the instructions to take the test, only to learn it resulted in a BFN. Needless to say I am getting tired of BFNs!

We are both problem solvers, so the fact that we can't solve the unexplained infertility is a major downer. The really hard part is not thinking of it as failing and not blaming yourself. I really thought bumping things up a notch would work, and I really don't want to bump things up to IVF! But then again, I never thought having kids would be so hard!@!
Locations of visitors to this page