Tin and Diamonds...

Ten years ago we were married. I planned a Ren-aissance inspired wedding in a park near the house I grew up in. After a week of rains and flooding, the sun came out and the day was full of sunshine and blue skies. (It rained again the following day!)

Last weekend I pulled out the album for a friend to look at, and it was fun remembering all of the people who came together to wish us well. (not to mention dressed up) The cake was amazing as well, and this is one of my favorite pictures, albeit a bit off-color and grainy. We ate the grooms cake a year later per tradition, and it tasted as good as the one on our wedding day.

The traditional 10th anniversary gift is tin or aluminum, and is supposed to represent the pliability of a marriage. (it's flexible and yet durable) The modern one is diamonds or sapphires. I'm not sure what Tim needs that's tin or aluminum, and he's not really a diamond lover. I do think he could use something sweet, so a box of Nuts and Chews are in his future for sure.

Woodland Whimsy

I love the views in our garden lately. I'm really glad that we have a yard to putter around in, and help get our mind off of the stresses of work.

This old stump looks so cute against this woodland flower. I have no idea what the flower is, but it's pretty. Hopefully some day I'll figure out what it is! The flowers are a bit prickly, and upon closer inspection it almost looks as if the flowers have fangs under the "hood" of petals. (or a spider is making it's home inside) Whatever it is, it's pretty, and the little stump looks quite inviting.

Later this afternoon, I discovered I wasn't the only one who thought it was a pictur-esque spot. This little garden gnome seems quite at home catching a few quick zzz's.

Passioniate

May is here and our roses are flourishing! This one could be a gingersnap or a desert spice or mambo or ... whatever it is, it's gorgeous right now, and shows promise of many more flowers! Supposedly orange roses mean passion. I think this one definitely fits the bill, it's absolutely vibrant!

This month is our 10th wedding anniversary. I thought we'd have kids by now, but can't seem to move into the scheduling stage. I still haven't decided when our next cycle will be. Maybe I just don't want it badly enough since I can't seem to take the next step and move on to infusions.

I have tons of excuses why...

• Infusions are scary. (But so were injections, and retrievals and they ended up being ok)


• Work is far from stable and has a dark cloud over it.


• I'm expecting visitors in the next few months and don't want to be going through transfers and injections while they're visiting us.


• I want to loose some weight before trying, but am managing to be gaining instead.


• Expenses are tight and although wages etc, are decreasing IVF hasn't.


• I'm always tired, even with extra B-12 vitamins.

But the desire for children is still there, burning under the surface. I get emotional when I think about life without children, and keep thinking I still have time... I need to get in a right frame of mind before starting a cycle. I just not sure how to make it happen before it's too late!