Not the Mama...
It's becoming clear I will likely never be a mother. My children lived for a few days in a petri dish. That is about as close to motherhood as I'll ever get. I still hope for a miracle every month, and likely will until I experience "the change". So far it hasn't gotten any easier.
When I was a nanny, my friends and I were often mistaken as the child's mother. So we often joked about being "Not the Mama" and even thought about making shirts saying something along those lines just so people would stop making the wrong assumption. Little did I know I should have made a shirt saying "Never the Mama".
As Mother's Day becomes more commercialized, and social networking more prevalent. It's hard to surf (or even go out) around Mother's Day. Everyone posts comments for "all the mothers", the stores are filled with flowers, cards, and everywhere I look I see happy Moms anticipating their special day of breakfast in bed, colored pictures, and tons of hugs.
I am the only one in my family without kids. In fact, my Mom and Dad have been taking care of my sister's three kids for the past few months! I sometimes wonder what I did to deserve being denied children of my own. I mean really? WTF?!? It's hard not to be bitter or angry.
But believe it or not, whining aside, I am really trying to be happy about the childless life I've been given. I'm sure I'll be much better after tomorrow passes.
===Update===
I woke up on Sunday to breakfast in Bed. Tim made me a wonderful breakfast in honor of "trying" to be a Mom. We then did our best to avoid Mom situations and worked in the yard, finishing the day with a grilled steak dinner. Thanks to Tim, the day ended up turning out ok.
When I was a nanny, my friends and I were often mistaken as the child's mother. So we often joked about being "Not the Mama" and even thought about making shirts saying something along those lines just so people would stop making the wrong assumption. Little did I know I should have made a shirt saying "Never the Mama".
As Mother's Day becomes more commercialized, and social networking more prevalent. It's hard to surf (or even go out) around Mother's Day. Everyone posts comments for "all the mothers", the stores are filled with flowers, cards, and everywhere I look I see happy Moms anticipating their special day of breakfast in bed, colored pictures, and tons of hugs.
I am the only one in my family without kids. In fact, my Mom and Dad have been taking care of my sister's three kids for the past few months! I sometimes wonder what I did to deserve being denied children of my own. I mean really? WTF?!? It's hard not to be bitter or angry.
But believe it or not, whining aside, I am really trying to be happy about the childless life I've been given. I'm sure I'll be much better after tomorrow passes.
===Update===
I woke up on Sunday to breakfast in Bed. Tim made me a wonderful breakfast in honor of "trying" to be a Mom. We then did our best to avoid Mom situations and worked in the yard, finishing the day with a grilled steak dinner. Thanks to Tim, the day ended up turning out ok.
posted by Susan at 9:41 AM
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