Things to do when you're not 42
I think I'm having a mini mid-life crisis. [Can you do that this early? Or does it mean I'll only live to be 72?]
Anyway, I digress. Dealing with infertility has me focusing on everything lately. Someone in my stress-class summed it up really well when they said something to the effect that... Infertility is like you are in a class and all of your classmates are graduating, but for whatever reason you're being held back. You are trying your best and giving 110%--you do your homework, turn your assignments in on time, and think you're meeting (or sometimes exceeding) the course requirements, but for whatever reason you are not able to get your diploma. Everyone around you seems to have moved on to the next stage, but here you are in the same old class month after month.
Perhaps that's why I've been focusing on the "unobtainable" lately. Perhaps I want to succeed at something tangible, and I make it a bit more difficult just so I can say to myself "See I can do something amazing too!" Perhaps this is why I have a deep desire for a rock star lifestyle... house in the hills (although I'd just settle for just a house out here), a new car, big tub, exotic cat, a life of travel, or barn for my horses with a gorgeous stable boy just for kicks. I'm restless. I want to graduate, and if I'm not focusing on a baby, I'm immediately focusing on something else that is often just as hard to obtain.
Anyway, I digress. Dealing with infertility has me focusing on everything lately. Someone in my stress-class summed it up really well when they said something to the effect that... Infertility is like you are in a class and all of your classmates are graduating, but for whatever reason you're being held back. You are trying your best and giving 110%--you do your homework, turn your assignments in on time, and think you're meeting (or sometimes exceeding) the course requirements, but for whatever reason you are not able to get your diploma. Everyone around you seems to have moved on to the next stage, but here you are in the same old class month after month.
Perhaps that's why I've been focusing on the "unobtainable" lately. Perhaps I want to succeed at something tangible, and I make it a bit more difficult just so I can say to myself "See I can do something amazing too!" Perhaps this is why I have a deep desire for a rock star lifestyle... house in the hills (although I'd just settle for just a house out here), a new car, big tub, exotic cat, a life of travel, or barn for my horses with a gorgeous stable boy just for kicks. I'm restless. I want to graduate, and if I'm not focusing on a baby, I'm immediately focusing on something else that is often just as hard to obtain.
posted by Susan at 6:53 PM
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