Just the Granddaughter
I've been down in the dumps lately, as my Mom & her siblings decided to sell my Grandma's house. I guess they've given up on her, and I told Mom that it was a stupid move since the market isn't the greatest right now, (They listed the house for $33,500.) they don't need the money, and that Gramie really loves her home and more than anything wants to live there. I told her if she listed the house, it means they've given up on Gramie, and that she will give up too.
I have been trying to suppress the feelings, but I know my Grandmother won't be happy living in a nursing home, when her beloved house is no longer hers to go home to. I also said I realize I am just the granddaughter, and that Mom & her siblings are going to do what they want to, and what I say doesn't matter. (Mom said yes it does matter, and that I should send her information on in-home care. -Again- So of course I did, thinking that they actually were listing to me, and that they would respect Gramie's wishes of living at home.)
Well, I get a lovely note from my Mom on my birthday, saying they put a "For Sale" sign in the yard of my Gramie's house! As if I'd welcome this "birthday news". When I finally replied I reiterated that Gramie will not be happy about this.
Saturday, (>a week after they listed the house) I get a call from my Dad who's frantically trying to get a hold of my Mom because Gramie is having chest pains and shortness of breath, and the nursing home needs to contact someone on the list in order to release her to the hospital! (My Mom is at my Sister's apartment and is unreachable!) She never called my Dad back, and finally called me back late Sunday morning. In the mean time, Gramie stayed at the nursing home all night. I called the home early the next morning, and they were FINALLY sending her to the hospital. I was so upset! Again I tried to cover my feelings, thinking they must know what they're doing, and it can't be that serious since no one seems overly concerned about things.
My Grandmother is older, but many of our relatives have lived to be over 100 and she has often said that she'd be happy living out her days to 100 or more at home. The news from the family sounded like it wasn't serious. However when I called her to check in on Monday, it sounded like she's giving up, she said her goodbyes to me over the phone, and said that we've had some really good times together, and that she was so glad to meet Tim, and to be sure to take care of my family. She has pneumonia, and said she doesn't feel like eating, and in essence has gone to the hospital to die.
I am so angry! I want to move home, buy Gramie's house, and take care of her. But of course that wouldn't go over so well with my husband or my job, not to mention my Mom and her siblings. My Grandmother took care of the elderly for many years just so they could live in their homes as long as possible. When it came time that Gramie needed some help at 95 years of age, her family put her in a nursing home and listed her house. I am trying to see some logic in their actions, but so far I am unable to. What a messed up way to say "I love you".
I have been trying to suppress the feelings, but I know my Grandmother won't be happy living in a nursing home, when her beloved house is no longer hers to go home to. I also said I realize I am just the granddaughter, and that Mom & her siblings are going to do what they want to, and what I say doesn't matter. (Mom said yes it does matter, and that I should send her information on in-home care. -Again- So of course I did, thinking that they actually were listing to me, and that they would respect Gramie's wishes of living at home.)
Well, I get a lovely note from my Mom on my birthday, saying they put a "For Sale" sign in the yard of my Gramie's house! As if I'd welcome this "birthday news". When I finally replied I reiterated that Gramie will not be happy about this.
Saturday, (>a week after they listed the house) I get a call from my Dad who's frantically trying to get a hold of my Mom because Gramie is having chest pains and shortness of breath, and the nursing home needs to contact someone on the list in order to release her to the hospital! (My Mom is at my Sister's apartment and is unreachable!) She never called my Dad back, and finally called me back late Sunday morning. In the mean time, Gramie stayed at the nursing home all night. I called the home early the next morning, and they were FINALLY sending her to the hospital. I was so upset! Again I tried to cover my feelings, thinking they must know what they're doing, and it can't be that serious since no one seems overly concerned about things.
My Grandmother is older, but many of our relatives have lived to be over 100 and she has often said that she'd be happy living out her days to 100 or more at home. The news from the family sounded like it wasn't serious. However when I called her to check in on Monday, it sounded like she's giving up, she said her goodbyes to me over the phone, and said that we've had some really good times together, and that she was so glad to meet Tim, and to be sure to take care of my family. She has pneumonia, and said she doesn't feel like eating, and in essence has gone to the hospital to die.
I am so angry! I want to move home, buy Gramie's house, and take care of her. But of course that wouldn't go over so well with my husband or my job, not to mention my Mom and her siblings. My Grandmother took care of the elderly for many years just so they could live in their homes as long as possible. When it came time that Gramie needed some help at 95 years of age, her family put her in a nursing home and listed her house. I am trying to see some logic in their actions, but so far I am unable to. What a messed up way to say "I love you".
posted by Susan at 7:04 AM
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