So it begins
Crampy and miserable I've spent most of the day lying on the couch watching movies. Day 1 arrived a day early. Which means I get to go into the office on Labor Day for my Baseline Ultrasound and then start the injections that night if all looks well. The following day (Day 3) I will add the Letrozole, and then we'll see how things progress.
Maybe I'm just old fashioned or a lost soul or miss the mid-west. I'm not sure which, or maybe it's a combination of everything and I'm just suffering from a wave of nostalgia, but watching movies reminds me of how in my dream world, everything always turns out ok--often choreographed to appropriate music along the way. A world with rose colored glasses, yes things may go wrong, but there's almost always a happy ending. In my dream world, I get my produce at a local farmer's market--where the produce is picked daily and the stands are made of wood with thatched straw awnings. My horses live in my "backyard", and I am able to ride them anytime I want, without having to commute through traffic and deal with lines at the hitching post or wash rack. In my dream world, our neighbors take care of their yards instead of ignore their weed patches. On the 4th of July people put out flags and have parades, on Halloween people decorate their houses and trick-or-treaters ring doorbells for candy, and on Christmas people put lights up and aren't afraid to say "Happy Holidays" or GASP "Merry Christmas". And in my dream world, people who want to have children and a career don't have to put one or the other on hold to do so, and don't miss the boat all together.
Instead I'm curled up around my heating pad and trying not to think about the fact that I will actually be going through IVF soon. We have decided that if this IVF and any subsequent FETs (Frozen Embryo Transfers--if we have any viable embryos left.) do not work, we will move on to a gestational surrogate. If that doesn't work, that's it. No more trying. I try not to think about it too much--some days are better than others.
I think if the IVF doesn't work, I'll start finding the home in my dream world... I wonder if we can move my horses to Italy.
Maybe I'm just old fashioned or a lost soul or miss the mid-west. I'm not sure which, or maybe it's a combination of everything and I'm just suffering from a wave of nostalgia, but watching movies reminds me of how in my dream world, everything always turns out ok--often choreographed to appropriate music along the way. A world with rose colored glasses, yes things may go wrong, but there's almost always a happy ending. In my dream world, I get my produce at a local farmer's market--where the produce is picked daily and the stands are made of wood with thatched straw awnings. My horses live in my "backyard", and I am able to ride them anytime I want, without having to commute through traffic and deal with lines at the hitching post or wash rack. In my dream world, our neighbors take care of their yards instead of ignore their weed patches. On the 4th of July people put out flags and have parades, on Halloween people decorate their houses and trick-or-treaters ring doorbells for candy, and on Christmas people put lights up and aren't afraid to say "Happy Holidays" or GASP "Merry Christmas". And in my dream world, people who want to have children and a career don't have to put one or the other on hold to do so, and don't miss the boat all together.
Instead I'm curled up around my heating pad and trying not to think about the fact that I will actually be going through IVF soon. We have decided that if this IVF and any subsequent FETs (Frozen Embryo Transfers--if we have any viable embryos left.) do not work, we will move on to a gestational surrogate. If that doesn't work, that's it. No more trying. I try not to think about it too much--some days are better than others.
I think if the IVF doesn't work, I'll start finding the home in my dream world... I wonder if we can move my horses to Italy.
posted by Susan at 9:08 PM
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