Not for the squeamish…

Well, we made the big decision to press forward in our pursuit of a family, and I started fertility shots this week. Oh the horror! Tim says that “most women love giving themselves the shots, because it’s one step closer to a bundle of joy.” (“I read it in ‘Stuff’ er ‘Self’ yeah, that’s right.” He said.) Yeah, right honey. Tim being out of town the first two shot nights didn’t help matters. After watching the video that came with the “Follistim® pen”, I carefully laid everything out, and tried to administer the shot in my soft underbelly per the instructions. I accidentally rubbed the sharp needle against my skin, and started to bleed, and almost passed out. Talk about a wimp. The next pass I chickened out, but the third one I made it. Until I went to depress the clicking pen, which sounded horrible, and because it turned as you pressed (instead of just moving straight down) it seemed much harder than a normal syringe! So I loosened my grip, and the pen did a 360! I believe I turned green at this point. I took a deep breath, tightened up my grip and pressed the clicking stopper down before I could mess it up any worse. I then had to lie down as I almost threw up. So much for being easy. The "Follistim BD Micro-Fine subcutaneous needle" is a lot better than an IM shot, but micro-fine is definitely a marketing term to try to put you at ease. (Acupuncture needles are small, not pen needles!) The micro-fine needle still packs a punch!

That being said, I am so dreading the 1 ½” IM needle! At least that’s about a week away. Tim gets to give that one. We had to attend a class that goes over the details, and the instructor explained it and how there are two needles, the larger diameter one for mixing, and then the “smaller one” for the shot. He showed how to put the first needle on the syringe, and said not to over tighten it, or it won’t come off. He then proceeded to say if that was the case; “just don’t tell your wife, since you’ll be using that needle for the injection and it’s ‘a bit’ more painful!” GREAT! So then they are showing how to give the shot and Tim asks the all-important question… “So I just push it into the hilt then?” (At least he was paying attention—I felt really sorry for the wives that didn’t have their husband there.) Anyway, the instructor gave Tim a perplexed look, and says, “I push it in until I don’t see needle any more” AND then shortly after that statement he continues with… “Also make sure she is lying down so she doesn’t faint and ram the entire syringe into her body.” I’m sitting there feeling nauseous at the thought. Even with all of this “help” there is only about a 15% chance of success. Even less for multiples, although the doctor is being aggressive in my dosage and we’re shooting for 6 follicles. So perhaps that will improve my chances. Tim thought it would be cool if there were nine follicles, so then there might be a chance of having a girl that was “seven-of-nine” or according to him, even a “number six” would work.

I think it’s the thought that every day that I take the little shot, it is one more day closer to the big one that makes me feel queasy. Kind of like one of my favorite childhood books “The Monster at the End of This Book”, where Grover does all he can to have you not turn the page!!!! I feel the same way about the calendar.